How does one describe two months of awe, wonder, love, hello's and goodbyes. How can the feelings be put into simple words and still convey emotions that run so deep? We have covered so many aspects of life in a relatively short time and so much has touched my soul in a way that has changed me forever. I had to go through some of the many photographs to remind myself of the order of our journey. Glacier Park seems so very long ago, while meeting Penny feels like just the other day, yet those two were only days apart.
There was no definite conversation or thought about us heading back at all, rather a gentle, slow feeling that we have done all we can and seen all we wanted to see this time around and maybe, perhaps, we are ready to go home. Perhaps. Leaving this beautiful Emerald Coast and heading north is done with a heavy heart and at the same time with a definite feeling that there will be a next time, more adventures, more discoveries and yes - more photographs too!
We have spent many nights sleeping in out of the way places rather than campgrounds, spending quiet evenings under bridges next to rivers, high in the mountains, simply alongside the road where we saw those glorious and stunning northern lights dance across the sky. We have slept in places that felt eerie in their loneliness and quietness, and we have spent nights where the glorious views spilled inside the motor home through the open windows making us just sit and breath it all in. Other places were so noisy that it pulled our strings and made us 'tetchy' for days from lack of sound sleep. And always we have been at home.
We have seen the wonder of Glacier Park, that ever growing and very meaningful Sign Post Forest, the incredible Alcan Highway; glaciers that took my breath away with their shimmering silver and blues in Prince William Sound and along the many roads traveled; we have been beyond-cold and breathless at some of the awesome mountains and valleys along the way. It rained much of the time up north which literally put a damper on the days, but looking now at the photographs, still rendered so many wonderful memories and views.
Those ice-topped volcanoes, the Pacific Coast and the enormous boulders standing guard offshore; the smell of the ocean and the enormous waves crashing endlessly onto pristine beaches; whales cruising in the blue waters, spouting as we watched; that wonderful winding road along the coast; the incredible feeling and sights of Zion - those deep canyons, rushing waters and totally awesome cliffs - the silence, the peace; the sky lit by fire and the deep darkness of starless nights and other nights where the stars danced like diamonds and the milky way was crystal clear; the open loneliness of endless roads that were beautiful in a different way too, and bright orange scenery that went on for miles. The boat rides, the train rides and the joy of finding some gold sparkles in our pans - (Thanks Nancy!); the peace and ease of being on the water, whether in a bay or on a river as well as in the crystal clear waters at the beautiful singing white sands of Florida beaches.
Some days we were on roads so quiet and gentle that I photographed the clouds, other roads were so busy I simply had to close my eyes and stomp on the non-existant brake pedal on my side of the motor home with sweaty palms and feet at times. Often we drove for hundreds of miles covering an incredible amount of distance in what felt like no time at all. Other days we moved mere feet. And always the camera clicked trying desperately to catch the beauty and wonder of what was around us.
We saw enormous wood mosquitoes that stood taller than ourselves; we saw bears where they were supposed to be and in places we least expected them. Wendy even heard a bear when ….. um, it was not a bear! That laugh particularly has a way of returning constantly! Moose we saw plenty of; mountain goat and caribou and normal little deer littered the roads along the way. Seeing the condor was special and being bitten by a fish was different and a tad insulting; we saw the fattest squirrel I have ever seen at Zion; saw sea otters in Alaska and bypassed the Tiger display at a gas station along the way.
All these have added up to an incredible journey. But, as the adverts on TV say: "But wait - There's more! And there definitely is.
When I summarize this trip in my mind it goes something like this: We left Chattanooga saying goodbye to my family, after stopping at Glacier Park, we met Penny and her family, then up to Fairbanks where we met Debbie and her family, met some wonderful people there, picked up Wendy, went down to Seattle where we met more of Debs's family and some more great people. Then Steven and Laura arrived to see Dr Druker and more wonderful souls. After that we went to Zion and then Texas where we met Gale and Bill. There were so many wonderful people we met and many that we did not get to meet this time around. Sometimes we did not even exchange names with those that came to talk to us, and others we shared just an evening or a short chat - but they all became woven deeply into the fiber of this journey. People became the foundation of this journey.
And the names on the sides of Skilpad. I have had to rewrite them twice now - maybe the fading is because of the sun, or maybe it was helped along by the daily act of running my hands over them all, thanking every one for the trust shown in riding along with us, and sending a positive thought to each and all of you as well as your family and support groups, whether they are still fighting the battle or lost the fight - we had you in our heart all the way. If I could change something, the names of all caregivers would ride on our sides too. Along the way, I fully realized the incredible importance of that support those fighting these diseases. I know that all your names on Skilpad are what really touched the many that saw us - your names made it real, made it personal and a good few hands draped their way over them all while eyes teared up and hopes were shared.
This adventure was so much more and so very different from our other journeys. The original idea was to gently tootle around the USA and western Canada as we have done before, but after Steven was diagnosed it changed to becoming my way of trying to apply that band-aid on a scratched knee that I, as a mother, could do so long ago. We had been dropped into the very middle of understanding the importance for research and progress towards the control and cure of cancers. It is truly wonderful that Steven's leukemia is now controlled by Gleevec and we really wanted to be able to contribute towards the possibility of a cure for this and other cancers.
So the People Connections started. After talking to a good few big companies about doing the RV wrap, Billy T and Tom who have a small, family owned, sign writing company in our area were truly fantastic in giving us a tremendous price to have Skilpad beautifully wrapped - they did a tremendous job of it too and I was really touched by their caring and concern and generosity. There was no way that we could not be noticed and many people were reminded of the movie "RV" - hmmmm … maybe that was not all good! LOL. Some people felt that we were very much and perhaps too much, in people's faces. Others said that it was good to be so loud and visible - what was really interesting was that those people that liked it were the ones fighting cancer right now!
We met people that just wanted to talk about their experience and move on - they did not all want their names on the motor home and a few did not even want to share their names with us, just a part of their story. So many times we sat inside and watched as someone stood and read the RV, some stood really close by reading even the names but as soon as they sensed us inside they quickly moved off - sometimes coming back later for more looking. We learned to sit very still and not talk, especially if the windows were open - reminded us of bird watching. When we sat outside, wide circles were walked around us, and we eventually we learned to smile about this and not to be upset - we started quietly making bets as to who would work up the courage to walk right by us or maybe even greet us. We also found that if we were busy with something like washing the bakkie or bikes or doing something else outside - that's when people would stop and chat. Us sitting and just enjoying the outside seemed to make people nervous - we could understand that totally!
In most instances, if the campground host or office person saw the RV when we checked in, we were given sites at the back of the park that would 'give us privacy'. One lady, Kathy, from a KOA camp broke that rule and paid for our nights stay! The general reaction to us and the RV was totally different to what we had thought it would be and very early on during the trip, we had to try to adjust our expectations of what we would achieve, especially as far as collecting donations went.
There were many that gave us encouragement simply by coming up to us, emailing; or showing their support in a smile and a hug; those that honked their horns at us, waved, turned their heads and gave the thumbs up sign; and those that opened their homes to us - all of you really made the difference, a really big difference and I thank you deeply. It was fun watching as people stood with gaping mouths as we breezed on through many little towns and big cities. It was good seeing people point in surprise as we went by, or even purposefully ignore us - they won't forget what they saw and in this way we touched them.P> Although we did not come anywhere close to even the low end of what we expected to raise on this journey, each and every donation was done with a tremendous amount of love and caring, and received with humble thanks. From the checks to the pennies left on the steps of Skilpad, each donation takes us one step closer to that day when a true cure will be found for cml and hopefully many other cancers too. I will remember the young girl who emptied out her penny-purse in the jar when we stopped along the road in Alaska, the man from the yard sale who had made nothing that day, but gave us $5 towards a cure, the other who's wife was in the camper next door hurting in the final stages of cancer, having a really tough financial time but insisting on giving; the guy who popped into the RV with a few coins between his fingers to add to the jar, the checks and cash and that pledge that was made. All of these and more were given with the same hopes and caring as we have - to find an end to this disease.
The appointment with Dr Druker eased my soul. Even Steven is more comfortable having his fast approaching bone marrow biopsy after meeting with Dr Druker. He listened carefully and with great attention as this wonderful man gave him hope and encouraged him not to make cml his whole life, rather, a carefully watched part of his life - like a well thought out chess game. "Do all you can to keep an eye on the cml," he said, "but live life to the fullest. Do things you would normally have done - and keep an eye on cml." Dr Druker and Carolyn Blasdel, and also Jennifer at the reception desk, really made the light shine on the second half of the trip. We know that Steven has seen the best of doctors regarding his cml and can see that we have the right doctors locally too. This is really comforting.
And I heard my son sing. Thank you, thank you, Dr Druker!
Since Steven's diagnosis we have found so many wonderful people, so much reason for hope in life generally. Meeting Penny on the internet and then in person was such a wonderful experience that those marks, the happy and the sad ones, will always be etched on my soul. Deeply etched. I have learned so much from this incredible lady and will carry her with me always. The website of Pennies For Cancer will carry on for a long time to come and hopefully through this site we will continue to raise funds towards cure and treatment and will realize Penny's dream too. Love ya, lady!
Meeting Debs, also a mother of a child with cml, the one friend that can truly understand what I am going through, was absolutely wonderful - it really felt as if we had a bond that goes beyond the normal things in life and I know that we will get together again in the future and hopefully have a lot more time to spend just chatting. It was really great to be so much 'on the same page' with someone in exactly the same boat. Her daughter, Laura, is a wonderful young lady, filled with sparkle and positive attitude and we could see that she was not going to let cml beat her in any way! Wonderful…..
Gale we met in Texas. She is the lady I refer to as the "Pink Energizer Bunny Lady". She and Bill came to meet us at the RV for the one evening we stopped there and we chatted so easily for hours that were way too short. She had been through pre-gleevec times with cml and listening to her stories made me really grateful for all we have today. Really grateful. I would love to join up with them again in the not too distant future - this was yet another meeting that I felt that there was still so much to share and way too little time.
So after traveling a total of 12 229 miles in the RV, in just under 9 weeks, this part of the journey has ended and I just know another one has already started - although it will definitely not involve rolling wheels for a while. Maybe someday we will do another cross-country, but for now we will relive this one through the photos and memories. Please stay in contact and let me know how you are all doing.
I have so many thank you's and am really afraid to leave out anyone that played a part in this adventure. I certainly will remember everyone that we met along the way, everyone that helped in any way, that read the emails, responded to them, kept in touch, donated, hugged, smiled, waved or encouraged us in the up and down times along the way. To the people that organized news and TV meetings and those that came out and interviewed us - thank you! There were many others that we spent some time with along the way and each of you were a tremendous help in my attempt to deal with this leukemia in Steven. Just to mention a few: Sandy in Fairbanks - you listened, you re-taught me that value and I hope I used it enough on the rest of the journey and will carry on doing so as much as I can; Tom in Cranbrook - you jumped right in with no notice at all and made a real difference!; Gloria - your daily emails kept me chuckling and kept me in touch; Trish - thanks SO much for helping keep me updated on Penny and how she is doing; Debs for the laughs and support - you are tremendous! To all the families of the friends we met along the way - you have made a really positive impact on my life; to all those that shared themselves with us - either in person or via email or phone call; to everyone that was so much more than a name on the sides of Skilpad - thank you! All of you will always play a part in the survival of my eldest child, my son, Steven. A very heartfelt thank you! If you feel that I have left you out of this list, please know that I thank you too! This journey will run through my mind for many years and each one of you made it complete.
I will also remember those that thought we were nuts and those that thought we were too blatant - we touched them too in some way and with a bit of luck and good fortune many people will know that we cared enough to be totally excited and do something really 'out of the box". Not much thought was given to the fundraiser side of things before we left -there simply was not the time. We reacted. We did. We did what we could and we did what we did. We did it with love and hope for Steven, we did it in the belief that we could make a difference to many people. Perhaps the difference we were supposed to make was not what we expected but something totally, well - different. We don't know. Maybe we never will. We do know that we did touch some people and we know that so many people touched us deeply and lastingly. I know that my three children saw that it is important to do something in the face of something as big as cancer if you have the opportunity - or at least give it a really good try!P> Although this adventure was primarily in honor of Steven and Penny, it was simply awesome to have taken you all along with us, to have had the opportunity to share this ride with all of you in the manner we did. We are truly honored to have carried you along with us, shared with you our adventures, sights and feelings. Every one of you. I sincerely hope that you all enjoyed the ride…….it meant so much to me having you all there. Every one of you has made this trip a total adventure, a wonderful ride and have inspired me to keep hoping and sharing.
Walking through those incredible canyons at Zion was a lesson in trust and belief. There are warnings all over about sudden and very real, flash flooding. We looked at the awesome beauty in front of us, keenly headed towards the turn up front excited about the view beyond, all the time heading deeper and deeper into a totally unknown area to us. Trust. Hope. Belief. All these were held tight as we walked an awesome trail. And it struck me - this is life! This is the only way to live life……. heading forward into unknown days on unknown trails, holding tight onto trust, hope and belief in something bigger than ourselves.
There is so much beauty out there on this continent, but the most awesome beauty is in the eyes of those that love and care. We had the most incredible fortune to see so very much of this all the way.
To my three lovely, young-adult children - the U3 you saw at the bottom of each email - you amaze me! Thanks for showing such responsibility at such relatively tender ages. Your phone calls and text messages were wonderful and your missing me made me smile all along the way. You are all incredible. My son, Steven, my daughters, Lisa and Joleen - I salute you and your ability to live your lives to the fullest - go for it! I love you all tremendously.
Frank, my dearest, my driver, my equalizer, my partner and husband. A very deep thanks for the many, many miles; the laughs, the smiles, the support, the gentle days and the encouragement. Thanks for incredible dinners and the joy in sharing and the oh so many detours! Thank you, my love, thank you.
All of you made this possible - you will forever be deep in my heart.
Love and Light to each and every one of you
Especially U3
Annie and Frank
XXXXXXXxxxxxx
With special thanks to:
Billy T & Tom Signwriters
My son: Steven K;
Penny and Michael E;
Gale B; Carien K; Marie H.W; Laura B; Beverley F G; Marge C ; Abby M; Bonnie B;Charlotte B; Ruth MB; Susan Butcher; Terry G; Shelley S; Moe S; Eric S; Judy T; Christine S; Karen B; Patricia R; Thaddeus R; Mary B; Susan K; Marisa B; Judy M; Kathy B; Rachel L; Sara W; Shawn R; Roy and Anjana; Leah P; Anita A; Claudia N; Fiona H; Jackie S; Judy M; Kathy Q; Dalton L; Yogi K; Diane P; Shiela W; Herb W; Jane P; Nicholas Y; Lynne A; Jon G; Lori A; Zavie M; Bob J; Tony D; Mary K; Tracy K; Don E; Sailaja K; Bob W; Kathy N; Amy F; Susan R; Daphny D; Tommy B; Tracy D; Sharon T; Shimon B; Nancy C; Dana S; Jonathan S; Bob D; Marque L; Carol H; Lori H; Mary Lou L; Marcia B; Amy B; Donnie B; Lottie D; Andrew C; David RV; Jack M; Gloria D; Ida JB; Denise F; Shawn R; Annie Shelly W.
www.RoadrunnersUSA.com
www.livingwithcml.blogspot.com
www.PenniesforCancer.com
1 comment:
Written from the heart - you both are wonderful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your experience. That was quite a trip.
God bless you
Post a Comment